Now I know why I cannot be a man who can charm women. It is an art and I don’t possess that for sure. A conversation on the phone today underlined the entire fact. A recent acquaintance keeps calling. I would call her ‘She’ in this post to maintain her anonymity. She calls daily and keeps asking if I had food, and if I did, what did I have. Its kind of irritating. I always try to be nice and cringe myself away from the phone when she keeps yapping not knowing how to cut the phone without her knowing!!! I guess life has a way to get things done. The excerpts of the conversation -
Tring Tring… (5 times approx which I take to think wether I should pick it up or not)
Me: Hello
She: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii….
Me: Hi
She: Where are you?
Me: Office
She: Jeeez! Why did you go to office? There is so much tension on the streets.
Me: Well, I came
She: Had food?
Me: No
She: Why do you do this? You never have food on time. It wouldn’t… (I go deaf…)
Me: (thinking) Did I marry her and then loose my memory when I hit my head out of sheer desperation?
She: Helloo… are you listening
Me: ya, I am here.. tell me..
She: I was telling you, this guy proposed to me.
Me: Wow! Good for you. Who is the guy?
She: This guy from office, bas****…
Me: Whay are you abusing him, just because he proposed to you?
She: No, he is married. And he thought I didn’t know.
Me: Hmmm.. interesting…
She: He came up to me in the canteen and said he wants to go out with me!
Me: Well, that doesn’t sound like proposing!
She: I asked him Why and he said he felt that I was hot!
Me: (a little loudly) What! He must be nuts!
A long silence
Beep Beep.
OUCH!!!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Jaago India Jaago
Whats the easiest way to display power? Well, switching on the tube-light is one way, but the other way that has always been around in Indian politics for a long time is Vandalism. Dare to the common office-goer, a vegetable seller, a shop owner, a carpenter, a rickshaw driver, taxi driver, mill worker, peon, CEO... dare everyone to go on the streets else they will hurt you, your belongings. They threaten to put fire on your public transport, pelt stones on your trains, shatter the windshields of your car, burn tyres and block the roads. They do everything that is against the law and try to keep proving that they are above the law.
What can we do? an average man thinks. It happened at my home too. A stone can give you a huge expense for your car, and headache too, a cousin pulled me over and asked me to go home. This is the sentiment of a common man in this city, and probably in our entire country. A stone can cost you thousands, he said, indicating at the windscreen of my car. The society, in terms of the law, is divided into two - The law fearing people and The law-breaking people. I always wonder why people are so afraid of the law-breakers. Probably because they are law-fearing and not law-loving people. If they loved the law, everyone would do their bit to uphold the law. Also, the law breakers wield the rods and stones while the law fearing people wield only fear.
Mostly, the people in any country get what they deserve. They elect the leaders they deserve. If people are afraid of the vandals and sit at home, the vandals rule the country. If the people go out to work, face them, come together and face the vandals, it would be the vandals who sit at home. I think the equation is quite simple.
At the Bandra flyover, the entire traffic, however little it was, chose to take a u turn and go back. Seeing the vehicles take a u-turn, i too took a u turn, went and parked my car aside. There were a bunch of policemen at the junction who were just looking. I asked them what was wrong? They did not know. I asked a person on the bike who slowed down. He said someone said they were throwing stones. I went and took a u-turn again and headed back to my destination. Some vehicles were still taking a u turn and some waiting at the signal. I rolled down the window and spoke to a person in the adjacent car. He too was angry at the vandals. Another biker came in abusing them. The signal turned green and we all hit the flyover. There was not a single vandal in sight. The perception of fear had made so many people go back. I reached my office without a scratch and I am sure the others did as well.
Isn't it time that we all stood for what is right? If a mob tries to disperse the crowd with their rods and stones. Can't the crowd themselves think that they are bigger in number than the vandals and face them. It only takes a fearless thought to stand together. But alas, many people don't do that. To the many people who faced the fear and went ahead to work, I salute you. For those who sat back at home because of fear and in a hope to get a holiday, think of what you did, and think that it is because of you and your fear that these vandals rule us. What is the use of calling ourselves a free nation if we are not allowed our own free will? Its a shame for all of us if this continues to happen. The police are little in number if counted by the numbers of vandals to be controlled. We too are responsible for our own safety and freedom. We cannot blame it on the police force or the Government if we ourselves don't take responsibility of our freedom.
Jaago India Jaago!!!
What can we do? an average man thinks. It happened at my home too. A stone can give you a huge expense for your car, and headache too, a cousin pulled me over and asked me to go home. This is the sentiment of a common man in this city, and probably in our entire country. A stone can cost you thousands, he said, indicating at the windscreen of my car. The society, in terms of the law, is divided into two - The law fearing people and The law-breaking people. I always wonder why people are so afraid of the law-breakers. Probably because they are law-fearing and not law-loving people. If they loved the law, everyone would do their bit to uphold the law. Also, the law breakers wield the rods and stones while the law fearing people wield only fear.
Mostly, the people in any country get what they deserve. They elect the leaders they deserve. If people are afraid of the vandals and sit at home, the vandals rule the country. If the people go out to work, face them, come together and face the vandals, it would be the vandals who sit at home. I think the equation is quite simple.
At the Bandra flyover, the entire traffic, however little it was, chose to take a u turn and go back. Seeing the vehicles take a u-turn, i too took a u turn, went and parked my car aside. There were a bunch of policemen at the junction who were just looking. I asked them what was wrong? They did not know. I asked a person on the bike who slowed down. He said someone said they were throwing stones. I went and took a u-turn again and headed back to my destination. Some vehicles were still taking a u turn and some waiting at the signal. I rolled down the window and spoke to a person in the adjacent car. He too was angry at the vandals. Another biker came in abusing them. The signal turned green and we all hit the flyover. There was not a single vandal in sight. The perception of fear had made so many people go back. I reached my office without a scratch and I am sure the others did as well.
Isn't it time that we all stood for what is right? If a mob tries to disperse the crowd with their rods and stones. Can't the crowd themselves think that they are bigger in number than the vandals and face them. It only takes a fearless thought to stand together. But alas, many people don't do that. To the many people who faced the fear and went ahead to work, I salute you. For those who sat back at home because of fear and in a hope to get a holiday, think of what you did, and think that it is because of you and your fear that these vandals rule us. What is the use of calling ourselves a free nation if we are not allowed our own free will? Its a shame for all of us if this continues to happen. The police are little in number if counted by the numbers of vandals to be controlled. We too are responsible for our own safety and freedom. We cannot blame it on the police force or the Government if we ourselves don't take responsibility of our freedom.
Jaago India Jaago!!!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The Follow-up
After my initial anger and mail to the Joint Commissioner of Police, I was still agitated. I went over the receipt I had got from the constable. I was booked for three different sections. I remember that in the 'pauthi' I was only booked for two sections Section 239 and section 250. But in this receipt I was also booked for section 184. So i went online to check for the sections and what it meant.
Section 250 MVA - Jumping the signal
Section 239 MVA - Use of mobile while driving
Section 184 MVA - Reckless driving.
Now my anger had a new level. I went to the traffic control room at the _______ junction and demanded to see the Officer in charge. I thought there might be some resistance, but it was quite easy. I was led to the Inspector to whom i explained the series of events. He countered saying that the mobile phone should be switched off while driving and if caught Section 184 was automatically to be added. But I remember the constable who had charged with me for the Rs. 200 fine on two sections and had told me that they have not charged me for reckless driving! The argument and counter argument continued. I was infuriated. The constable who booked me two days ago was the best person to asses the offense. If he has charged me with two cases then how come a constable sitting here has charged me with another section and that too offers me a Rs. 100 back for not providing me with a receipt. The inspector was irritated.
Inspector: What do you want Mr. N_______?
Me: I was not charged for Section 184. That should be taken back and my 500 bucks returned.
Inspector: Sorry, that cannot be done. The receipt has been delivered. If you had a problem you should have spoken then. And we cant change the entry in the books. Sorry anything else?
Me: I need an apology at the least.
Inspector: Arrey Kadam la bolav re! (Call Kadam)
Well, he did give an apology after a lengthy discussion. I had become a moral police standing against corruption. Finally the Inspector who was mighty irritated, insisted on 5 'uthak bhaitaks' (sit-ups holding ears). My anti-corruption ego had calmed down. I got off the cabin shaking hands with the inspector and the constable. My chest had bloated up with pride and my ears felt warm with blood. As i stepped out of the cabin, i heard the inspector tell him in marathi - Dont try to mess with such guys. If he had got a reporter along with him, we would have had a tough time with the seniors.
As I stepped out of the cabin, the constable who booked me two days back stopped seeing me. 'N______ saab, got your license back?' I smiled back nodding a yes.
'Please be careful while you are driving' he said.
I was surprised that he remembered my surname. I left the place a little relieved. I also felt hurt being poorer by 700 bucks for a single moment of negligence!
Section 250 MVA - Jumping the signal
Section 239 MVA - Use of mobile while driving
Section 184 MVA - Reckless driving.
Now my anger had a new level. I went to the traffic control room at the _______ junction and demanded to see the Officer in charge. I thought there might be some resistance, but it was quite easy. I was led to the Inspector to whom i explained the series of events. He countered saying that the mobile phone should be switched off while driving and if caught Section 184 was automatically to be added. But I remember the constable who had charged with me for the Rs. 200 fine on two sections and had told me that they have not charged me for reckless driving! The argument and counter argument continued. I was infuriated. The constable who booked me two days ago was the best person to asses the offense. If he has charged me with two cases then how come a constable sitting here has charged me with another section and that too offers me a Rs. 100 back for not providing me with a receipt. The inspector was irritated.
Inspector: What do you want Mr. N_______?
Me: I was not charged for Section 184. That should be taken back and my 500 bucks returned.
Inspector: Sorry, that cannot be done. The receipt has been delivered. If you had a problem you should have spoken then. And we cant change the entry in the books. Sorry anything else?
Me: I need an apology at the least.
Inspector: Arrey Kadam la bolav re! (Call Kadam)
Well, he did give an apology after a lengthy discussion. I had become a moral police standing against corruption. Finally the Inspector who was mighty irritated, insisted on 5 'uthak bhaitaks' (sit-ups holding ears). My anti-corruption ego had calmed down. I got off the cabin shaking hands with the inspector and the constable. My chest had bloated up with pride and my ears felt warm with blood. As i stepped out of the cabin, i heard the inspector tell him in marathi - Dont try to mess with such guys. If he had got a reporter along with him, we would have had a tough time with the seniors.
As I stepped out of the cabin, the constable who booked me two days back stopped seeing me. 'N______ saab, got your license back?' I smiled back nodding a yes.
'Please be careful while you are driving' he said.
I was surprised that he remembered my surname. I left the place a little relieved. I also felt hurt being poorer by 700 bucks for a single moment of negligence!
A letter to the Joint Commissioner of Police - Traffic
Respected Sir,
Recently, I was booked at the ____________ Junction for jumping a signal and for use of mobile phone while driving.
I am fully aware of the offense i committed and i promptly agreed to pay for the penalty of the offenses. It bought out a very weird expression from the traffic police on duty.
They gave me a 'pauthi' and asked me to collect the license from the Bhandup Sonapur Cabin.
Today as I presented the 'pauthi', the officer on duty at the Collection counter, Mr. S charged me Rs. 700/-. I paid him and he returned my license. However, he was reluctant to give me a receipt for the same.
When I insisted, he told me that I am not supposed to collect it from the cabin, but from the Court. He liked me as a person and hence he was doing this 'favor'.
He returned me Rs. 100/-.
I insisted on the receipt and told him that if Rs. 100 mattered to me, I would have tried to bargain with him on the day I was caught.
I also told him to return the Rs. 700/- and offered to give him back the license and collect it from the 'Court'.
He promptly made a receipt and gave it to me.
I would like to know if such a statement is indeed true. If it is, then why was I not asked to take the license from the court itself? And why did he be so nice to me and give me a receipt promptly?
It is indeed sad to see the state of corruption in the force. I understand the limitations and the difficult circumstances your officers work, but when an honest person is ready to abide by the law, I hope they are treated with respect and given the least trouble for being a law-abiding citizen.
I truly hope that you can do some little steps in bettering the system and tearing out corruption from it.
Yours sincerely,
P............
Recently, I was booked at the ____________ Junction for jumping a signal and for use of mobile phone while driving.
I am fully aware of the offense i committed and i promptly agreed to pay for the penalty of the offenses. It bought out a very weird expression from the traffic police on duty.
They gave me a 'pauthi' and asked me to collect the license from the Bhandup Sonapur Cabin.
Today as I presented the 'pauthi', the officer on duty at the Collection counter, Mr. S charged me Rs. 700/-. I paid him and he returned my license. However, he was reluctant to give me a receipt for the same.
When I insisted, he told me that I am not supposed to collect it from the cabin, but from the Court. He liked me as a person and hence he was doing this 'favor'.
He returned me Rs. 100/-.
I insisted on the receipt and told him that if Rs. 100 mattered to me, I would have tried to bargain with him on the day I was caught.
I also told him to return the Rs. 700/- and offered to give him back the license and collect it from the 'Court'.
He promptly made a receipt and gave it to me.
I would like to know if such a statement is indeed true. If it is, then why was I not asked to take the license from the court itself? And why did he be so nice to me and give me a receipt promptly?
It is indeed sad to see the state of corruption in the force. I understand the limitations and the difficult circumstances your officers work, but when an honest person is ready to abide by the law, I hope they are treated with respect and given the least trouble for being a law-abiding citizen.
I truly hope that you can do some little steps in bettering the system and tearing out corruption from it.
Yours sincerely,
P............
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
English is a very funny language!
Amitabh's dialogue in Namakhalaal holds true if you travel into the interiors of India. It is indeed funny!
Com-fart-able!!!!
Any takers for a Chicken that 'sweat', and is sour?
GARL FRINDES - No GARL FRINDES No TENSAN!!!
Com-fart-able!!!!
Any takers for a Chicken that 'sweat', and is sour?
GARL FRINDES - No GARL FRINDES No TENSAN!!!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Coffee with a War Hero
I usually hate wars. Everyone hates wars. In a war, there are no winners. But it is necessary to protect our own interest. People in the army have always amazed me. Their persona, their dedication, their sparkle in the eye. Their eyes show the immense amount of satisfaction that they get with their personal sacrifice for the good of the nation. Many of these men and women could opt for lucrative jobs in other vocations. They do not have to go to the border, stay away from the family, put their life at risk, earn lesser than their peers in other fields, but they do. These breed of men and women are of a different kind – I realized after meeting Col. Ramesh Sharma over a cup of coffee at Costa Coffee at Connaught Place, Delhi.
Col. Ramesh Sharma is retired from the army and is now in the corporate world. What does he do? He turns around failed companies. He says passionately about his days in the army. ‘I enjoyed every single minute of my life in the army. And what I do today is also the same. Turning around situations that hang on the brink of failure.’ Col. Ramesh Sharma, for people to have an easy connect was the real life character Amitabh Bachchan had depicted in the film Lakshya.
Speaking about those decisive days of the Kargil War, he says - When the first attack of the battalion failed, I was asked to take over a new battalion and recapture Tiger hill. I refused a new battalion. ‘If the failed battalion would have not got a second chance, they would have had to live in shame for the rest of their lives for their failure.’
He went out and asked the jawans, how many of them were ready to launch another attack on the infiltrates. Each one of them put their hands up. He went to his senior and told them, he would continue the attack with the same battalion. It didn’t mattered if he was court-martialed. 12 hours later, he was given the permission. He went back and faced his battalion. He gave up his gun and refused to wear the bullet-proof jacket. He told his men – I will be walking in front of you with nothing but a chadi (a thin bamboo stick). Save me if you can, from the bullets of the enemy.
Nevertheless to say, in the battle that followed, Tiger hill was re-captured, one of the key moments in the Kargil war. A war that was standing on the brink of failure had turned around. He now does the same with failed companies. It is not much different from war, he says. ‘Only here, your life is not threatened by a bullet.’
Colonel now also visits management colleges and shares his experience to teach young people in the art of leadership. We salute to you and to the men who lay their lives for the country expecting nothing but honor!
Col. Ramesh Sharma is retired from the army and is now in the corporate world. What does he do? He turns around failed companies. He says passionately about his days in the army. ‘I enjoyed every single minute of my life in the army. And what I do today is also the same. Turning around situations that hang on the brink of failure.’ Col. Ramesh Sharma, for people to have an easy connect was the real life character Amitabh Bachchan had depicted in the film Lakshya.
Speaking about those decisive days of the Kargil War, he says - When the first attack of the battalion failed, I was asked to take over a new battalion and recapture Tiger hill. I refused a new battalion. ‘If the failed battalion would have not got a second chance, they would have had to live in shame for the rest of their lives for their failure.’
He went out and asked the jawans, how many of them were ready to launch another attack on the infiltrates. Each one of them put their hands up. He went to his senior and told them, he would continue the attack with the same battalion. It didn’t mattered if he was court-martialed. 12 hours later, he was given the permission. He went back and faced his battalion. He gave up his gun and refused to wear the bullet-proof jacket. He told his men – I will be walking in front of you with nothing but a chadi (a thin bamboo stick). Save me if you can, from the bullets of the enemy.
Nevertheless to say, in the battle that followed, Tiger hill was re-captured, one of the key moments in the Kargil war. A war that was standing on the brink of failure had turned around. He now does the same with failed companies. It is not much different from war, he says. ‘Only here, your life is not threatened by a bullet.’
Colonel now also visits management colleges and shares his experience to teach young people in the art of leadership. We salute to you and to the men who lay their lives for the country expecting nothing but honor!
Friday, September 19, 2008
Homeless in Mumbai
Yesterday as i was returning home after running some errands, I heard a voice calling out from behind a parked taxi. I wasn't sure if they were calling out to me, but I paused to turn back and look. A middle-aged guy, probably in his fifties waved out to me as he walked closer. He had a 'Sundaram' notebook in his hands.
Man: Are you a Mallu Christian?
Me: No... not a chrstian...
Man: There are a lot of mallu christians in this area
Me: Really, I never bothered to count.
Man: Ha ha... you have a dry sense of humor.
Me: Was born like that
OK i must admit that i was apprehensive about this guy. He was clean shaven, dressed well in a white shirt and blue jeans but i was very uncomfortable by his smile.
Man: Can you help us?
Me: How do you want me to help me?
Man: You know we have been homeless... (He pointed to a couple who were sitting behind the taxi on the curb. All of them well dressed.) We are roaming like this since a week.
Me: Why?
Man: We were thrown out of our house, our own house.
Me: So how are you surviving since the last week.
Man: God has been taking care of us.
Me: Well, good for you.
Now i got ths sense that he was going to ask for money and if he did, I knew that this was another kind of a scam a colleague had told me long back. He was duped of a thousand bucks a couple of years back when a couple with a child, approached him and he out of sympathy gave it to them. They promised they will return it and took his address. They never got back and a couple of months later, there was a burglary in his house. They could never link the two, but that incident was tapping on my mind's shoulder.
Man: Can you help us by donating some money? We will return it to you.
Me: NO!
Man: Why such a loud No? People have contributed. I am taking their addresses and will repay them when I earn it back.
Me: there are a couple of reasons. One, Your smile. You look too happy that you have lost your home. Second, if you had lost your home, your friends would have bailed you out, if they have not, then you don't have any friends, and three, if you lost your own home to someone else and didnot know that it was coming, you sure are a fool.
Man: (a little angry) you are cruel.
Me: Cant help it. Have been like that since childhood.
I walked away. I dont know if I was right for not helping them. I dont know if they were really speaking the truth. Probably I might have one more curse on my head now!!
Man: Are you a Mallu Christian?
Me: No... not a chrstian...
Man: There are a lot of mallu christians in this area
Me: Really, I never bothered to count.
Man: Ha ha... you have a dry sense of humor.
Me: Was born like that
OK i must admit that i was apprehensive about this guy. He was clean shaven, dressed well in a white shirt and blue jeans but i was very uncomfortable by his smile.
Man: Can you help us?
Me: How do you want me to help me?
Man: You know we have been homeless... (He pointed to a couple who were sitting behind the taxi on the curb. All of them well dressed.) We are roaming like this since a week.
Me: Why?
Man: We were thrown out of our house, our own house.
Me: So how are you surviving since the last week.
Man: God has been taking care of us.
Me: Well, good for you.
Now i got ths sense that he was going to ask for money and if he did, I knew that this was another kind of a scam a colleague had told me long back. He was duped of a thousand bucks a couple of years back when a couple with a child, approached him and he out of sympathy gave it to them. They promised they will return it and took his address. They never got back and a couple of months later, there was a burglary in his house. They could never link the two, but that incident was tapping on my mind's shoulder.
Man: Can you help us by donating some money? We will return it to you.
Me: NO!
Man: Why such a loud No? People have contributed. I am taking their addresses and will repay them when I earn it back.
Me: there are a couple of reasons. One, Your smile. You look too happy that you have lost your home. Second, if you had lost your home, your friends would have bailed you out, if they have not, then you don't have any friends, and three, if you lost your own home to someone else and didnot know that it was coming, you sure are a fool.
Man: (a little angry) you are cruel.
Me: Cant help it. Have been like that since childhood.
I walked away. I dont know if I was right for not helping them. I dont know if they were really speaking the truth. Probably I might have one more curse on my head now!!
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