Of Babas and Babies and a Curse

I was waiting for my colleague near my new office in Bandra next to my car when a Mercedes S – Class car went past me and stopped. A man draped in saffron cloth stepped out and hurried towards me. I was a bit startled and then, a bit cautious. I had heard of these fake baba’s who hypnotise you and take all the money you have. But then, I realize I was not carrying much cash anyways, so I relaxed as he reached towards me. Obviously he was a chela of some bigger baba.

Chela: Baba wants to speak to you.
Me: What?
Chela: Baba Something (I don’t remember his name) saw you and felt you were of noble blood, and wants to speak to you.
Me: Me? Noble? What do you want?
Chela: He just wants to talk to you.

Hesitant, I walked to the car. The car had fine leather upholstery and a Baba with a flowing beard and sparkling eyes looked at me.

Me: Yes?
Baba: You are of noble blood son!
Me: I don’t know if the blood is noble, but I know it is B positive.
Baba: Don’t make fun of a holy man. My curse can ruin your life.
Me: Sorry.
Baba: You should do a yagna with milk blah blah blah blah (I did not understand a single word he spoke)

After a while of talking or rather babbling, he paused, and I looked at him with amazement. He must have thought I was amazed by his forecast which I hardly understood, but his smile made me realize he thought I agreed to what he said. I turned around to his chela.

Me: What was he saying? I did not understand a single thing.
Chela: He said your son will make you a proud father.
Me: I think I shall be proud if I become a father.

Baba (angrily): You are mocking a messenger of God.
Me: I am sorry if you are a messenger of God, but it doesn’t take a messenger to tell me that I shall be a proud father, and now if excuse me, I have other work to do.
Baba: (looking towards the other side) blah blah blah…

Chela: You don’t understand, Baba doesnot talk to everyone. He chose you.
Me: Well thanks for choosing me, but what does he want?

Baba: Its only some thing so that my disciples can eat something in the afternoon

Now this was some news to me. A man travelling in a Mercedes S-class car wanted money for lunch!

Chela: You will earn blessings from the Baba himself. Just give him whatever you can
Me: I have a five rupee coin, here it is (I handed it over to him)
Baba: How dare you insult us? Do you think we are beggars?
Me: Then what were you just asking? I thought that is what is called begging.

Well, to cut the story short, he cursed me and left.